If manliness were a disease, it couldn’t get much worse than Golgo 13. The aptly named Duke Togo doesn’t do emotion, he does big guns, and his legendary aim is as precise with the hearts’ of fine ladies as when trained on the “meat-filled football” (Golgo’s words, not mine) of a terrorist. Being billed as Japan’s answer to James Bond, you should know what to expect. It’s low-budget, gratuitous entertainment, but where the James Bond character is charismatic, the forever grimacing Duke is just a big rock of nothing. I have some doubts as to how this formula can stretch for 50 episodes, but regardless, I’m quite determined to see whether that moody rock of manliness dares crack a smile. For now, it’s a novelty.

I expected Himitsu - The Revelation to be one of the better series of the spring season, but, on this evidence, it’s just another mediocre helping of bishonen homoeroticism destined to be contorted in the day-dreams of yaoi fan-girls. In some near future, a special unit of the Japanese police can remove the brains of murder victims to view their memories just prior to death; in truth, it’s a really interesting premise, but the abject animation quality and lack of personality is fatal.